Unrest
Story Title: Breathe Again by ysar
Chapter: 25. Unrest
Genre: Twilight – Romance / Hurt/Comfort
Characters: Bella/Jacob
Details: AU
Rating: M/R
Warnings: Strong Language, Violence,
Status: Work In Progress
Summary: “If Alice hadn’t seen Bella cliff-dive, what would have happened? Would Bella have given in to her feelings for Jacob? Was she even capable of moving on? Victoria’s hunting, Edward’s coming back—and that’s just the beginning!”
Bella
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t what I got. When Billy announced I was staying the night, Jake did nothing. It’s not that I wanted him to get carried away or anything, but I thought he’d be happy about it, maybe make one of his smart-ass remarks or something. But he didn’t react at all.
“I have to get back to Emily,” Sam said. “Jake, can I talk to you for a sec?”
I moved so Jake could get up, and I sat there for a second, watching as he followed Sam outside. I was a little uncomfortable sitting there trying not to notice Paul and Rachel, so I got up and walked toward Jake’s room. Suddenly, Paul started laughing, and I turned to see what was so funny. He just shook his head at me and tried to compose himself.
Once inside Jake’s room, I wasn’t sure what to do. Was I sleeping in here? On the sofa? Wherever I was supposed to sleep, I needed something to wear. I assumed Jake would be okay with me borrowing one of his shirts—it’s not like he ever wore them anyhow. So I tugged on the closet door to see what my options were. It seemed that his closet was less for clothes storage and more for hiding junk. Everything from trophies to a half-deflated basketball to several boxes were stacked up inside. Even if he’d wanted to hang clothes in it, there wouldn’t have been room. I shut the closet and looked around. I really didn’t want to go digging through his dresser, so I was relieved when I saw a laundry basket filled with folded clothes over by the bed. I plucked a t-shirt off the top and held it up to me. It would probably cover me down to my knees, but I didn’t want it. It smelled like detergent, not Jacob. I looked around at the clothing scattered across the floor and thrown over the back of his desk chair. Then again, digging through his dirty clothes would have been weird. So I settled on the clean shirt I was holding.
I heard the front door fly open and slam against the wall, so I walked back into the living room, still clutching Jacob’s shirt. Anger was etched across his face, and he barely looked at me.
“I’ll sleep on the sofa,” he mumbled in my general direction. “Get out,” he said to Paul and Rachel.
They wasted no time getting up and going to Rachel’s room. I stood there for a few seconds after they closed the door behind them. Jake lay down on the sofa, his feet draped over the edge, and closed his eyes.
“Turn off the light for me?” he asked.
“Sure.”
I couldn’t sleep. I knew I shouldn’t be staring at the clock, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the little red numbers. It had been forty three minutes, and Jake still hadn’t come in.
I tried telling myself he was trying to be respectful, but I knew that wasn’t it. Jake and I had slept in the same bed before and nothing had happened. Why couldn’t we do that again? Maybe it’s because Billy’s here, I thought. No, that wasn’t it. Billy hadn’t seemed fazed at all by my being here overnight. He hadn’t even glanced sideways at Paul, and I had the feeling he knew exactly where Paul was sleeping. Clearly he didn’t have any problems with the sleeping arrangements. So what was Jake’s problem?
I tossed and turned for a few more minutes, but Jacob’s scent on his pillow taunted me. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep without knowing what was going on. I tossed back the covers and felt my way over to the door.
Only a faint light misted through the windows, and I could barely make out the sofa across the room. The house was completely silent. I shuffled slowly across the room, still arguing with myself about what I should say.
“Ouch!” My shin slammed into what was probably the coffee table and I pitched forward, barely catching myself before I went sprawling.
“What are you doing?” Jake asked.
“What are you doing?” I countered, stepping around the offending table and easing onto the edge of the sofa cushion beside him.
“Sleeping.”
Must be nice. “I can’t sleep,” I told him, hoping he’d just take the hint. He didn’t.
“Nightmares?” he asked.
“Not exactly.”
“Too much excitement tonight?”
This guessing game was going to take forever. “Probably. But…did I do something wrong?” I asked.
“Nope.”
His nonchalant response only served to irritate me further. “If you’re going to ignore me, you can at least tell me what I did to deserve it.”
“I’m not ignoring you,” he replied.
“Oh, sure,” I said, my voice laced with sarcasm. “I’m sleeping in your room and you’re on the sofa and you didn’t even kiss me goodnight and you’re not trying to come in there.” Okay, so that didn’t come out exactly the way I wanted it to, but at least I said it.
“Do you want me to come in there?” he asked, sitting up a little.
I could barely make out his face in the darkness, but I couldn’t make out his expression. “No…yes…I don’t know,” I said. “Paul’s in your sister’s room.” Then again, maybe Paul and Rachel weren’t the best argument.
“Yeah, and we both know what they’re doing,” he said quietly.
I felt his warm hand close over mine and hoped he couldn’t see me blushing. “Is that it?” I asked. “Are you mad because we’re not…you know…sleeping together?” It hadn’t occurred to me that we might be having that problem, but it was as likely a possibility as any.
“No!” he exclaimed too loudly. “What the hell, Bella?” he asked angrily. “That’s what you think?”
I was instantly relieved…and confused. “Well, what am I supposed to think?”
“You should think…no, you should know…that they all think I’m gonna be in there with you.”
“They?” I asked.
“Paul and Rach, my dad, the pack…”
I felt myself blushing again. Billy just assumed Jake and I would be sleeping in the same room. I really hoped he didn’t assume we were just like Paul and Rachel. But either way, Billy was okay with it. “Then what’s the problem?” I asked.
Jacob sighed. “Sam asked me if I needed protection,” he said.
“Oh.” Well, that was a development I hadn’t been prepared for.
“I don’t want them thinking that,” he said. “And I just thought it would be better if I stayed out here. Paul’s gonna know if I go in there. And he can’t keep his fu—sorry! —his mouth shut. Everybody would just assume…” he trailed off.
“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” I asked.
“C’mon, Bells. You get so embarrassed by everything.”
“Well, yeah, but I’d rather be embarrassed than have you being all distant and weird toward me.”
“I know,” he sighed. “I was just mad—not at you, though,” he quickly added. “At Sam for thinking…well…and at Paul for laughing about it.”
“That’s why Paul was laughing? How’d he know?”
“We hear a lot, Bells,” he sighed.
Oh yeah. Super wolf hearing.
“Do you think he can hear us now?”
“He can, but he’s…distracted.”
“Wow,” I said. “You guys really don’t have any privacy, do you?”
I thought I saw him nod in the darkness.
“You could stay out here, you know. With me,” he offered.
“Wouldn’t that look just as bad?” I asked.
“Not really,” he said as he pulled me against his chest and lay back down. “Of course, you’d have to be really close.”
I smiled to myself. “I think I can handle that.”
Jacob
I wanted to jump up and down like a kid at Christmas, just maybe not with so many witnesses. I’d planned on somehow staying with Bella, but I’d assumed it would mean I was sleeping in the woods just behind her house. It’s not like I was going to leave her completely alone after everything that had just happened. This was more than I could have hoped for. Not only did it mean I could make sure she was safe, but I’d also have her right beside me. Dad was heading straight for bed, which meant he wasn’t going to put his foot down about where she slept.
“I have to get back to Emily,” Sam said. “Jake, can I talk to you for a sec?”
Bella moved over and I got up, following Sam out the back door.
“What’s up?” I asked.
Sam shifted his weight to his other foot and stared at the ground for a few seconds. I was trying to come up with a crack to make when he muttered something about wanting to kill my dad. I knew he wasn’t serious, but what the hell? Before I could ask, he spoke up.
“I don’t think this is such a good idea,” he said.
Huh? My confusion must have been obvious.
“Maybe you should sleep on the sofa,” he explained.
“And why would I do that?” I asked. I suddenly knew exactly what he was getting at, and I didn’t like it.
“Because…well…Bella might be more…comfortable…you know, sleeping alone.”
“Bella will be just fine sleeping with me,” I insisted. Surely Sam would believe me. I mean, I’d proven it before, hadn’t I?
“Look, Jake, she’s had a pretty…um…emotional night. This might not be the right time to—”
“Exactly. She’s scared and I’m keeping her with me. That’s all you need to know.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. What happened between me and Bella was our business—no one else’s. If I needed advice, I’d ask for it. And for him to think I was standing here planning on taking advantage of her…emotional state or whatever…well, if I thought I could have kicked his ass and gotten away with it, I would have.
“Fine,” he said.
Good. He was finally getting the message.
“Just don’t be stupid. If you need protection…” he trailed off with a questioning look.
“What the…Why?” I didn’t even know what to say, and now I could hear Paul’s laughter from inside. “Go to hell!”
I turned and went back inside, slamming the door behind me.
The only thing worse than Sam’s assumption was knowing how Bella would react. If we both slept in my room, even if all we did was sleep, everyone would assume the same thing. The guys would probably give me a hard time, not caring whether Bella overheard or not, and she would be mortified. This really was the last thing I needed.
It’s not that I wanted to just lie there and hold her all night. Well, actually, I did want to do that, but there were plenty of other things I wanted to do as well. Even so, I had the feeling Bella would just shut me down if I tried. And really, it only made sense. She was a good girl, and being with me for all of one week probably didn’t fit her idea of “long enough.” To be honest, I was okay with that. It was frustrating, to say the least, but I loved her. I loved everything about her, including the fact that she wasn’t one of those girls.
The real problem was her tendency to throw fits. Granted, she hadn’t done that since we really got together, but she wasn’t exactly a pro at keeping her emotional outbursts in check. Add in the embarrassment she’d feel about what everyone would think was going on, and she’d probably go off like a nuclear bomb. Great. What was supposed to be the perfect ending to a terrible night had circled back and turned just plain shitty.
I hadn’t been inside for three seconds before Bella came out of my room. And she was holding one of my t-shirts. I bit back a groan and inwardly cursed fate or karma or whatever the hell had decided I needed to be tortured just a little more. The second I saw her standing there, I was assaulted by the vision of her in just that t-shirt. It was almost as good as the memory of her in the last shirt of mine she’d worn.
“I’ll sleep on the sofa,” I said.
Paul shot me a questioning look.
“Get out,” I snapped at him.
I lay back on the sofa and closed my eyes. I could feel Bella looking at me. What was I supposed to tell her? Hey, if we stay in the same room, everyone’s gonna think we’re screwing. Nope, I definitely wasn’t saying that.
“Turn off the light for me?” I asked.
“Sure.”
It was like Bella’s nightmares were contagious. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw some new degree of horrible. First, it was that damn leech, standing in my yard taunting me. She was laughing and telling me I wasn’t fast enough. And then before I could move my leaden legs, she had her hands around Bella’s throat. I woke with a start, sitting straight up and nearly panting. And I’d only been asleep for eight minutes.
Next, it was an all-Bella nightmare. The pack was standing around us, laughing. Bella’s face was getting redder and redder, and tears were streaming down her cheeks. I looked over her shoulder to see Charlie holding a shotgun while Sam just shook his head and scowled at me. When I finally managed to open my eyes and shake off the dream, I heard movement coming from my room. Bella wasn’t sleeping either.
A few seconds later, my bedroom door opened, and I waited to see what she was doing. If she thought she was going to sneak out to her truck and leave, I had news for her. Maybe she was just getting up for a drink. I wouldn’t let myself look. I had the feeling my imagination didn’t do justice to how she actually looked in my t-shirt.
“Ouch!”
So much for pretending not to notice. Bella had just collided with the coffee table. Either she had no sense of direction, or she wasn’t looking for the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“What are you doing?” she replied almost accusingly. She stepped around the coffee table, a little more cautiously this time, and sat down on the edge of the sofa.
“Sleeping,” I said. Or at least trying to…and failing miserably.
“I can’t sleep,” she said.
“Nightmares?” I asked.
“Not exactly.”
“Too much excitement tonight?”
“Probably. But…did I do something wrong?”
Shit. She was upset, and something told me it had to do with me.
“Nope,” I said, hoping she’s just accept it and go back to bed. Yeah, right.
“If you’re going to ignore me, you can at least tell me what I did to deserve it.”
She thought I was ignoring her? Okay, so maybe I could understand where she was coming from, but why would she instantly go to that? Why hadn’t it occurred to her that I was trying to behave myself and look out for her?
“I’m not ignoring you.”
“Oh, sure,” she said, sounding angrier than I expected. “I’m sleeping in your room and you’re on the sofa and you didn’t even kiss me goodnight and you’re not trying to come in there.”
If only you knew. I sat up and looked at her. Big mistake.
God, she was perfect. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, much of it escaping to sweep around her pale face. My shirt was huge on her, reaching mid-thigh, which at the moment wasn’t nearly long enough. It’s like my eyes couldn’t decide what they should be staring at…her sweet face, her angry eyes, her pouty lips, her perfect legs… Dammit, focus!
“Do you want me to come in there?” I asked. Please say yes. I mean no!
“No,” she said. Thank God. “Yes.” Thank God. “I don’t know.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. “Paul’s in your sister’s room,” she said. Like that wasn’t going to give me any ideas.
“Yeah, and we both know what they’re doing,” I told her.
She had her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers around each other and looking nervous. I reached over and placed my hand on top of hers.
“Is that it?” she asked quietly, that beautiful blush coloring her cheeks. “Are you mad because we’re not…you know…sleeping together?”
“No!” I said automatically. “What the hell, Bella? That’s what you think?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Hadn’t I done enough to show her that sex wasn’t the only thing on my mind? I mean, yeah, it was definitely on my mind, but did she really think I was mad at her about it?
“Well, what am I supposed to think?” she asked.
“You should think…no, you should know…” How was I supposed to word this? “…that they all think I’m gonna be in there with you.”
“They?”
“Paul and Rach, my dad, the pack…”
Her blush grew even brighter, and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Finally, she gets it.
“Then what’s the problem?”
Maybe not. I sighed, realizing that embarrassing for her or not, I was just going to have to spell it out. “Sam asked me if I needed some protection,” I told her.
“Oh.”
I rushed to explain before she could get any more upset. “I don’t want them thinking that. I just thought it would be better if I stayed out here. Paul’s gonna know if I go in there. And he can’t keep his fu—sorry! —his mouth shut. Everybody would just assume…”
“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” she asked.
“C’mon, Bells. You get so embarrassed by everything.” Surely she could understand that.
“Well, yeah, but I’d rather be embarrassed than have you being all distant and weird toward me.”
She was right. I was being an ass. “I know,” I said. “I was just mad—not at you, though—at Sam for thinking…well…and at Paul for laughing about it.”
“That’s why Paul was laughing? How’d he know?”
“We hear a lot, Bells.”
I could see from her expression she understood.
She glanced toward Rachel’s room and whispered, “Do you think he can hear us now?”
“He can, but he’s…” I didn’t want to think about it, much less say it. “…distracted.”
“Wow. You guys really don’t have any privacy, do you?”
“You could stay out here, you know. With me.”
“Wouldn’t that look just as bad?” she asked.
“Not really. Of course, you’d have to be really close,” I told her. After all, the sofa wasn’t made to sleep two.
“I think I can handle that.”
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